Topic: Field Hospital

[Simon]

A general was visiting a field hospital to try and boost morale. He approached a recuperating soldier and said, "And what is wrong with you, soldier?"

The soldier replied, "I have gonorrhea, sir."

"I see," said the general. "And what is the treatment for your condition?"

"I have to scrub my genitals three times a day with a medicated stiff-bristle brush, sir."

"And what is your greatest wish, soldier?" asked the general.

"To get back to full health and get back into the field, sir."

"Excellent! Carry on."

The general moved on to the next bed. "And what is wrong with you, soldier?" he inquired.

"I have dysentery, sir."

"Not so good," said the general. "And what is the treatment for your condition?"

"I have to scrub my arse three times a day with a medicated stiff-bristle brush, sir."

"And what is your greatest wish, soldier?" asked the general.

"To get back to full health and get back into the field, sir."

"Splendid! Carry on."

The general moved on to the last bed. "And what is wrong with you, soldier?" he inquired.

"I have laryngitis, sir," croaked the soldier.

"Oh dear," said the general. "And what is the treatment for your condition?"

"I have to scrub my throat three times a day with a medicated stiff-bristle brush, sir."

"And what is your greatest wish, soldier?" asked the general.

"To one day get the brush before those two, sir."