The owner of a golf course in Ireland was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathmatical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from The University of Dublin and I need some help. If I were to give you £20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."
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A group of Irish friends went deer poaching and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Paddy?" the others asked.
"Paddy had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Paddy laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Paddy!"
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A senior in Dublin was overheard saying .. "when the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Ireland ."
When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Ireland because everything happens in Ireland 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.
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The Irish cop pulled over a pickup on motorway.
The cop asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
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A man in Ireland had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked, "But what's with theflowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it either."
Topic: Irish jokes (Read 978 times)