Topic: Taxi.

[mistybear]

TAXI

The other day I got into a taxi at BRISBANE Airport and asked the driver to take me into the city. As we drove off the driver looked at me through the rear vision mirror and said very happily, "This my first day taxi driving. You first customer for me."
"Really?" I said, "That's great. Have you lived in Australia long?"

"Me, I come Australia one month. This my first job. But you don't worry - all my family come Australia before me and they all taxi driving. My father, my three brothers, my two uncles and my five cousins, they all taxi driving in brisbane many year, and they teach me what to do. So you very safe, and I take you to city very quick."
"Terrific," I said.

I felt safe all right, for about thirty seconds. That's how long it took us to reach the first set of traffic lights. He didn't slow down one bit - he drove straight through the red light as if it wasn't there. I screamed AAAHHHHH!! as cars to our left and right screeched their brakes and blasted their horns. How nothing managed to hit us I'll never know. "That was a red light!" I yelled, "You're supposed to stop!"

The driver said cheerfully, "No worry, no worry. My father, my three brothers, my two uncles and my five cousins, they never stop for red light. No one ever have crash. They teach me do the same. You very safe, trust me."

Another red light was dead ahead. "Please", I begged, "just stop and let me out, I'll pay the full fare!"
"No worry, you safe, you relax," he said with a smile.

As we drove through the second red light I screamed AAAHHH!!! again and dug my fingers into the seat. Once again we got through unscathed but left behind a symphony of screeching brakes and horns at the intersection.

"Look, I can't take any more of this," I said, "I need to get out".
"Trust me," said the driver cheerfully, "my father, my three brothers, my two uncles and my five cousins never stop for red lights. Is safe."

And there it was just 60 metres ahead - the third red light. Knowing that in every joke the third episode is always the last, I was convinced I was about to die. But then at 30 metres out a miracle happened - the lights changed to green! Thanks to this momentary reprieve I started breathing again. But then...

The driver slammed hard on the brakes and we screeched to a complete stop at the lights. Behind us, several cars blasted their horns.

"What the hell are you doing now!!!" I yelled. "The light's green. Go, go, go!!!"
The driver turned around and looked at me in horror. "Are you crazy? All my family's driving today!"

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[Clive]

  I usually find taxi drivers OK but I can't say the same about White Van Man.  I hate it when I'm doing 75 - 80 (slightly more than the legal limit) on the motorway they are driving so close behind that they are almost in your boot (trunk).  Why don't they simply overtake?  As soon as there is a slight incline they have to fall back because they don't have enough power to keep up.  Even worse us that they invariably have a mobile phone pressed against their ear so they are driving with one hand.