Topic: Lion

[Clive]

John came back from a safari in Africa. Upon arrival, he went to his friend Mark, and told him of his adventures. "I was out in the jungle," he said, "when all of a sudden I heard a noise in the bush behind me. Looking back, I saw a huge lion, licking his chops, and smiling at me. The lion started coming my way and I started running, with the lion not far behind. When the lion was almost at my neck, he suddenly slipped, and I got ahead a bit.

The lion started gaining on me, and as he got closer, once again he slipped. I happened to see a house not far away, and made towards it.

As I got close to the house, the lion was almost on top of me, when he slipped for a third time. With the very last bit of strength, I ran into the house and closed the door in the lion's face."

"That's some story there, John, I would have messed my pants."

"Well, WHAT DO YOU THINK THE LION KEPT SLIPPING ON..."

[Sandra]

I thought that was going to be the one about the guy was telling his mate in the pub about being chased by a lion.
He said he managed to climb up a tree out of reach of the lion but the lion kept circling the tree waiting for him to come down.
Then he said "I grabbed a handful of yours and threw them at him and he ran off so I could get down safely and escape"

His mate said "Whats yours ? "

He said "A pint of beer and a whisky chaser please" 

[GSS]

2 jokes in one post 

[Serenity]

3 now GSS   


Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, "I'm going to become a lion tamer."
The other replies, "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming."

"Yes I do!"

"Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?"

"Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down."

"Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?"

"Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down."

"Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?"

"Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him."

"Well, what if that gun doesn't work? What will you do then?"

"Well, then I pick up some of the s**t that's on the bottom of the cage, and I throw it in his eyes, and I run out of the cage."

"Well, what if there ain't no s**t in the bottom of the cage? What you gonna do then?"

"Well, that's dumb. Cause if that lion comes at me, and he throws the chair out of the cage, and he bites the whip in two, and my gun don't work, there's going to be some s**t on the bottom of that cage, you can bet on that."   

[mistybear]

 

[GSS]

  good one Serenity