Topic: Pinocchio's Peter!

[Clive]

One day, Pinocchio and his girlfriend
were in bed doing what girls and wooden boys do.
 As they were cuddling later,
Pinocchio could tell that something was bothering his girlfriend.
So, he asked her,
"What's the matter, baby?"

Pinocchio's girlfriend
gave a big sigh and replied,
"You're probably the best guy I've ever met,
but every time we make love you give me splinters."

This remark bothered Pinocchio a great deal,
so the next day he went to seek some advice form his creator, Gepetto
 When Pinocchio arrived,
Gepetto could tell something was bothering Pinocchio,
 and asked him what was the matter.
Pinocchio revealed his dilemma to Gepetto.

Gepetto searched up and down for a solution.
Eventually, he suggested that
 sandpaper might
be able to "smooth" out Pinocchio's
relationship with his girlfriend.
 Pinocchio graciously thanked Gepetto
 and went on his way.

Gepetto had not heard from Pinocchio for a while
and therefore assumed that the sandpaper
 had solved all of Pinocchio's problems.
 
A couple weeks later,
Gepetto was in town to have some blades sharpened
at the hardware store when he ran into Pinocchio.
 When he saw Pinocchio buying all the packs
 of sandpaper the store had in stock,

 Gepetto remarked,
"So, Pinocchio, things must be going pretty damn good
 with the girls, eh?"
 and Pinocchio replied:
*
*
*
*
*
"Girls, who needs girls?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

[Rik]

 

[Simon]

[GillE]

That Pinocchio... he's a chip off the old block  .

[Clive]

 

[Simon]

His acting was always a bit wooden, though.

[Rik]

[Simon]