The following is purported to be an exchange of correspondence between
a customer and the Irish Railway Company (Iarnród Éireann).
Gentlemen,
I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the
service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of
standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the
transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,000 years
ago.
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan
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Dear Mr. Finnegan,
We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our
service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The
only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.
Sincerely,
Irish Railway Company
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Gentlemen,
I am in receipt of your letter, and indeed I think you are the ones who
are confused in your history.
If you will refer to the Bible and the Book of David, 9th Chapter, you
will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass.
That... Gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your
train in the last two years!
Yours feckin' truly,
Patrick Finnegan