Topic: WHY AMERICAN ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REGULAR JOBS

[Clive]

IT SEEMS LIKE FOOTBALLERS IN THE USA ARE GENIUSES JUST   LIKE   THE ONES WE HAVE HERE.
Subject:   WHY AMERICAN ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REGULAR JOBS
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
    "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."
 
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when  asked about the upcoming season:
    "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.."
 
3. And, upon  hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say:
    "I'd run over my  own mother to win the Super Bowl,"
    Matt Millen of the Raiders said:
    "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
 
4. Torrin Polk,University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
    "He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings."
 
5. Football commentator and  former player Joe Theismann:
    "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
 
6. Senior basketball player at the University of  Pittsburgh :
    "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.."
    (Now that is beautiful)
 
7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
    "You guys line up alphabetically by height.., and, You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."
 
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
    "Why would anyone expect him to  come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton ..."
 
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
    "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
 
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
      "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."
 
11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
      "My sister's  expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.
      (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
 
12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
      "I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance  or apathy?'
       He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
 
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D:
     "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
 
14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
     "I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."
 
15. Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded:
     "Because she's too ugly to kiss good-bye."
 

[Simon]