Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to
do was eat, drink and be Mary.
I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a
turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to
hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.
Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window.
If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be
honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women
happy. NOTHING.
SEVEN WHEELCHAIR ATHLETES HAVE BEEN BANNED FROM THE PARALYMPICS AFTER
THEY TESTED POSITIVE FOR WD40.
Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Year's
Riots....Your One Year Manufacturer's Warranty Runs Out Soon.
ITS A BOY" I SHOUTED "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY" AND WITH
TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE I SWORE I'D NEVER VISIT ANOTHER THAI
BROTHEL!!!
TWO INDIAN JUNKIES ACCIDENTALLY SNORTED CURRY POWDER INSTEAD OF COCAINE.
BOTH IN HOSPITAL...ONE'S IN A KORMA.. THE OTHER'S GOT A DODGY TIKKA!
AN ENGLISHMAN HAS STARTED HIS OWN BUSINESS IN AFGHANISTAN ! HE IS
MAKING LAND MINES THAT LOOK LIKE PRAYER MATS! IT’S DOING WELL!
PROPHETS ARE GOING THROUGH THE ROOF!!
JAPANESE SCIENTISTS HAVE CREATED A CAMERA WITH A SHUTTER SPEED SO FAST,
THEY CAN NOW PHOTOGRAPH A WOMAN WITH HER MOUTH SHUT.
A BOY ASKS HIS GRANNY, 'HAVE YOU SEEN MY PILLS, THEY WERE LABELLED LSD?
'GRANNY REPLIES, F%#K YOUR PILLS, HAVE YOU SEEN THE DRAGONS IN THE
KITCHEN?!
A WOMAN STANDING NUDE IN FRONT OF A MIRROR SAYS TO HER HUSBAND: 'I LOOK
HORRIBLE, I FEEL FAT AND UGLY, PAY ME A COMPLIMENT.' HE REPLIES, 'YOUR
EYESIGHT IS PERFECT.'
WIFE GETS NAKED AND ASKS HUBBY, 'WHAT TURNS YOU ON MORE, MY PRETTY FACE
OR MY SEXY BODY? 'HUBBY LOOKS HER UP AND DOWN AND REPLIES, 'YOUR SENSE
OF HUMOUR!
AN ELDERLY COUPLE IS ATTENDING MASS. ABOUT HALFWAY THROUGH, THE WIFE
LEANS OVER AND SAYS TO HER HUSBAND, 'I JUST LET OUT A SILENT FART; WHAT
DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO?' HE REPLIES, 'PUT A NEW BATTERY IN YOUR
HEARING AID.'
Topic: Politically incorrect (Read 599 times)