1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds … only 15 to go ...
2. Ate salad for dinner …Mostly croutons & tomatoes ... Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce ... and cheese... FINE, it was a pizza... I ate a pizza
3. How to prepare Tofu:
1. Throw it in the trash.
2. Grill some Meat.
4. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web ..
5. I don't mean to brag but… I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes
6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it
7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it... when I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel
8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me
9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.
10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented … I forgot where I was going with this
11. I love being over 70 … I learn something new every day … and forget 5 others
12. A thief broke into my house last night … He started searching for money … so I woke up and searched with him
13. My dentist told me I need a Crown … I said, “You bet, pour mine over rocks”
14. I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day
"Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed."