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Author Topic: Laws  (Read 754 times)

Offline Clive

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Laws
« on: November 15, 2006, 08:04 »
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability:

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:

If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.

Variation Law:

If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).


Law of the Bath:

When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.


Law of Close Encounters:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with


Law of the Result:

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.


Law of Biomechanics:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.


Law of the Theatre:

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.


Law of Coffee:

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:

If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent
lockers.


Law of Rugs/Carpets:

The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.


Law of Logical Argument:

Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.


Parking lot law:

Just as you get to your car in the shopping centre parking lot, the people who parked on each side of you arrive back at their car, each with shopping carts filled to the brim, and proceed to fill their car from the side next to your car.

 
 
 

Offline mistybear

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Re: Laws
« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2006, 09:41 »
Those who can make you believe absurdities,
can make you commit atrocities.

Offline Clive

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Re: Laws
« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2006, 09:59 »
My anti-senility pills have stopped working!! 

Offline Clive

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Re: Laws
« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2006, 10:00 »
My anti-senility pills have stopped working!! 


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