Topic: Read this, and you will never feel stupid again:

[Clive]

If  you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and  read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius.  
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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather  Whitestone was selected as Miss America  1995.)  
Question: If you could live forever, would you and  why?
Answer: 'I would not live forever, because we  should not live forever, because if we were supposed to  live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot  live forever, which is why I would not live forever,'  --Miss Alabama in  the 1994 Miss USA  contest.  
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'Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving  kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean  I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those  flies and death and stuff.'
--Mariah  Carey  
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'Smoking  kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important  part of your life,'
-- Brooke Shields, during an  interview to become spokesperson for federal  anti-smoking campaign  .
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'I've  never had major knee surgery on any other part of my  body,'
--Winston  Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball  forward.
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'Outside  of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime  rates in the country,'
--Mayor Marion Barry,  Washington , DC ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  

'That  low-down scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a  jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,'
--A congressional  candidate in Texas  .
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'Half  this game is ninety percent mental.'
--Philadelphia Phillies  manager, Danny  Ozark  
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'It  isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the  impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'  
--Al Gore, Vice  President
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'I  love California I practically grew up in Phoenix  '
-- Dan  Quayle
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'We've  got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we  need ?'
--Lee  Iacocca
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'The  word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is  a guy like Norman Einstein.'
--Joe Theisman, NFL  football quarterback & sports analyst.  
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'We  don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude  certain types of people.'
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC  Instructor.  
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'Your  food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because  we received notice that you passed away. May God bless  you. You may reapply if there is a change in your  circumstances.'
--Department  of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina  
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'Traditionally,  most of Australia 's imports come from  overseas.'
--Keppel  Enderbery
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'If  somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at  night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart  throughout the night. And the next morning, when they  wake up dead, there'll be a record.'
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC  Chairman
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[Rik]

It's almost impossible to believe, but I do emphasise the almost, Clive.

[Simon]

[mistybear]

I'm shocked, truly shocked.

I just don't believe it.

How could you, Clive!

Not one, and I mean not one quote from G.W. Bush!

[Clive]

That would have been too easy MB.   

[Sandra]

At least GW never came out with anything as stupid as Obama did last week over the black guy arrested while apparently breaking into his own house and then abusing the arresting officer for doing the right thing.

[David]

'The  word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is  a guy like Norman Einstein.'
--Joe Theisman, NFL  football quarterback & sports analyst. 

This tickled but they are all brilliant..... :thumbs:great find Clive and Im a genius