Topic: Here's Johnny!

[Rodders]

A first grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students.  The teacher asked Little Johnny "what's your problem?"

Little Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade.  My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is.  I think I should be in the 3rd grade too.  Ms. Brooks had had enough.  She took Little Johnny to the principal's office and while Little Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.

The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test.  If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave.  She agreed.  Little Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Little Johnny: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Little Johnny: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.  The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Little Johnny can go to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Little Johnny both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Little Johnny, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Little Johnny replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Little Johnny: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Little Johnny: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.  Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Little Johnny replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"

Little Johnny: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling. Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Little Johnny: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Little Johnny in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong."

[Simon]

[Clive]