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Author Topic: avid golfer  (Read 985 times)

Offline Clive

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avid golfer
« on: March 10, 2006, 08:34 »
There's a fellow who is an avid golfer. Actually he's a golf fanatic. Every Saturday morning he has an early tee time. He gets up very early and golf's all day long. Well, this one Saturday morning, he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his clubs out of the closet, and goes out to his car to drive to the course. It is raining a torrential downpour. There is snow mixed with the rain and the wind is blowing 50 mph.He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the weather channel. From there he finds that it's supposed to be bad weather all day long. So he puts his clubs back into the closet, quietly undresses and slips back into bed where he cuddles up to his wife's back, and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible. "She replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out golfing?"

Offline stefos

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avid golfer
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2006, 13:31 »
Another golf joke :-
A man slices his golf shot and it goes into the long grass.  When he goes to look for his ball he sees a genie standing there by a broken jar and his golf ball.  The genie says "I have been stuck in that bottle for a thousand years and you have rescued me.  You are granted three wishes"
Not really believing what is going on the man says, "Okay, let me hit the ball out of here and into the hole on the green"
"Granted" said the genie
With that the man makes a swipe and the golf ball clears all the obstacles between him and the 200 yards to the green, where it bounces twice and pops in the hole.
Realising that this genie is for real he excitedly wonders how to use his next two wishes.  He sees a horse in the next field and says to the genie "I would like to be as well hung as that stallion"
"Granted" said the genie
The man instantly felt a big bulge in the front of his trousers, which however, caused a certain amount of discomfort.  At the next tee he was addressing the ball and just couldn't get his stance right so he is said to the genie "having this horses penis hanging down my leg is not doing my golf swing any good.  I'm going to have to use my third wish"
"Certainly master, what is it?"  Asked the genie.
 The man says "Can you make my legs a bit longer???


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