Topic: Scottish Joke

[Lona]

Two Aberdonian farmers, Tam and Shuie, are sitting in the Farmers Bar,

Tam turns to Shuie and says, "Ye ken whit ? I'm tired o' gan through
life withoot an education. I'morn, I think I'll ging doon to the
community college and sign up for some classes."

Shuie thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day Tam goes down to the college and meets the Lecturer, who
signs him up for the four basic classes: Maths, English, History and
logic.

"Logic?" Tam says. "whit's at?"

The Lecturer says, "I'll show you. Do you own a Strimmer?"

"Aye"

"Then logically because you own a Strimmer, I think that you have a
Garden ?"

"That's true, I dee huv a Gerden."

"I'm not done, " the Lecturer says. "Because you have a Garden, I think
logically that you would have a house."

"Aye, I dee huv a hoose."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a
family."

"I huv a femily."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must
have a wife."

"Yer nae wrang!! I dee huv a wife !!"

"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a
heterosexual?"

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazin' !! You were able to find a' that
oot, jist 'cos I huv a strimmer."

Excited to take the class now, Tam shakes the Lecturer's hand and leaves
to meet Shuie at the pub. He tells Shuie about his classes, how he is
signed up for Maths, English, History and logic.

"Logic?" Shuie says, "whit's at?"

Tam says, "I'll tell ye. Di ye huv a strimmer?"

"No."

"Well then, yer a poof."

[Simon]