The local zoo decided it needed some new staff and got the Head Keeper to train a new assistant.
?Have you got any experience in looking after animals? he asked the new recruit.
?No. I?m afraid not but I?m keen to learn? replied the new lad.
?O.K. We?ll start you off on the Bees. I want you to look after the hives and make sure that the Honey is of a good quality. One small thing. If you accidentally kill a bee 50p will be deducted from your wages?
The new guy was not too impressed with this but thought that if he made a good job of looking after the bees they might give him something a bit more interesting.
It didn?t take long on the first day to finish all his Bee related chores so he thought he would use his initiative and mow the grass between the hives to make the area look nice and tidy.
All was going well and it was looking pretty posh until the corner of the mower caught a hive and knocked it over. This upset the bees and they came rushing out in a swarm only to be caught up in the blades of the Mower.
?Hell? he thought looking down at the mass of mangled Bees? There must be at least a hundred. That?s about 50 quid. I?m not having that taken out of my wages?
Looking around for a place to hide the evidence of Bee decimation he decided to chuck them in with the Lions. ?They eat anything? he thought and when the Head Keeper came around to check he made no mention of his accident.
?You?ve done a good job Lad? The Head Keeper said? tomorrow you can look after the Aviary. Just clean the bottom of the cage and make sure they have enough food and water However if you accidentally kill a bird £5.00 will be deducted from your wages?.
?That?s a bit better? thought the new guy? I?m moving up the ladder?
Carefully he entered the large walk in Bird cage, making sure the door was looked behind him, and started cleaning the floor. Just as he thought he had finished he slipped on an errant Puffins dropping. Trying to keep balance but still with his broom in his hand he unfortunately knocked three rare Nepalese Bull Finches from their perch and into the next world. He looked down at their little bodies and thought ?Blimey, that?s 15 quid?. Looking around for somewhere to hide the remains he decided that the lions had done such a good job on the Bees that he slung them into their den.
The head keeper was delighted with the clean Aviary and didn?t notice the missing birds. ? Tomorrow? he declared ?you can clean the Chimps cage. However if you accidentally kill a Chimp £500.00 will be deducted from your wages ?
The new guy was well made up. In three days he had progressed from Bees to Apes.
The next day he entered the Monkey House via the sets of special doors and set about arranging new straw and cleaning up. Unfortunately he had failed to notice that one of the self closing inner doors had failed to shut. A passing chimp brushed against it causing it to slam shut, trapping the chimp in a very terminal sort of way and effectively preventing it from ever making that same mistake again.
?Oh great. That?s 500 quid? he thought.
Learning from past experience he trudged over to the now familiar Lions Den and threw the deceased Chimp over the fence.
The next day the new guy was waiting for the Head Keeper to arrive to assign him, a new task when a truck drove up with a new Tiger for the Big Cat House.
As he was being unloaded the Tiger asked the Lions what conditions were like.
? Not too bad ? replied the Lion? It?s a bit cramped but you can?t complain about the food. Yesterday we had Finch , Chimps, and mushy Bees?
Topic: The Zoo (Read 632 times)