1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
can't comment on this one really
2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Just stay home the two days of the year it snows.
more like 2 days every 10 years.
3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain
will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
truth
4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals & bait in the same store.
its been a while, but i've seen movie rentals inside of rather random stores like that before.
5. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
hopefully y'all understand that.
6. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
that's not normal?
7. If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.
only in the empty countryside
8. If you hear a redneck exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" Stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
he'll get hurt and look like an idiot while everyone laughs at what he done did there, but those ain't his last words usually.
9. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the humidity". And the collateral phrase "You call this hot? Wait'll August."
it's always humid.
10. There are no delis. Don't ask.
Jason's Deli, subway, quiznos.
11. In conversation, never put your hand on a man's shoulder when making a point, especially in a bar.
i thought that applied everywhere.
12. Chili does NOT have beans in it.
i agree.
13. Brisket is not 'cooked' in an oven
it shouldn't be.
14. Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.
that's everywhere.
15. If you think it's too hot, don't worry. It'll cool down-in December.
it's november and its starting to cool off.
16. We do TOO have 4 Seasons: December, January, February, and Summer!
that's how it was last year yes. it was still warm during christmas. it's cooler now in november than it last was.
17. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F-150 is.
nobody around here is going to own a mercedes-benz.
18. If someone tells you "Don't worry, those peppers aren't hot" you can be certain they are.
of course. it's a sign of manliness to eat the hottest food you possibly can, then claim its not hot.
19. If you fail to heed my warning in #18 above, be sure to have a bowl of guacamole handy. Water won't do it.
water sucks, it doesn't help. milk is better.
20. Rocky Mountain oysters are NOT oysters. Don't ask.
what are rocky mountain oysters?
21. If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that doesn't mean anything's broken.
i say 'about', but i understand fixin and hear it all the time.
22. Don't even think of ordering a strawberry daiquiri. What you really mean to say is 'Margarita.'
what the hell is a daiquiri?
23. If you don't understand our passion for college and high school football just keep your mouth shut.
i don't have a passion for it myself, but I understand it.
24. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but the availability of shade.
both are important.
26. BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot dogs outdoors.
27. No matter what you've seen on TV, line dancing is not a popular weekend pastime.
28. "Tea" = Iced Tea. There is no other kind.
29. Everything goes better with Ranch dressing.
its like you read into my soul. grilling alone doesn't make it bbq, line dancing sucks, tea is tea, and i put ranch on alot of things.
just my comments while i sit here bored.
Topic: ADVICE FOR ANYONE MOVING TO TEXAS (Read 1093 times)