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Author Topic: These are sentences actually typed by Medical secretaries in NHS Greater Glasgow  (Read 1588 times)

Offline Clive

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1. The patient has no previous history of suicides.


2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.


3. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.


4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.


5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.


6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.


7.. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.


8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.


9. Discharge status:-      Alive, but without my permission.


10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.


11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.


12. She is numb from her toes down.


13. While in ER, she was examined,  x-rated and sent home.


14. The skin was moist and dry.


15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.


16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.


17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.


18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.


19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy.


20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.


21 Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.


22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.


23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present.


24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.


25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.


26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

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27. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.


28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.


29. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.


30. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.


31. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.


32. The patient was to have a bowel resection.  However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.


33. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
 

 

 


Online Simon

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Many thanks to all our members, who have made PC Pals such an outstanding success!   :thumb:

Offline Rik

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Quote
21 Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

 ;D
Slainthe!

Rik

Offline mistybear

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Those who can make you believe absurdities,
can make you commit atrocities.

Offline Clive

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Probably best to be grateful for what one is given.   :)

Offline Rik

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I always am.  :o:
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Offline Sandra

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From what I heard on the news today, Belfast and other hospitals in Northern Ireland will have similarly educated people working in them.
They held their last ever 11 plus exams today, so they must have decided to dumb down their education system so that it is the same as we now have in mainland UK  :o:

Offline davy51

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From what I heard on the news today, Belfast and other hospitals in Northern Ireland will have similarly educated people working in them.
They held their last ever 11 plus exams today, so they must have decided to dumb down their education system so that it is the same as we now have in mainland UK  :o:


Dont feel bad Sandra they have done the same here
They call it Leave No Child behind

So they keep all of them behind with them
Dave

Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend

Albert Camus


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