Yesterday I was at my local Tesco buying a large bag of
Spillers dog food for my loyal pet, 'Biscuit the Wonder
Dog' and was in the checkout line when woman behind me
asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So
since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I
told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting
the Spillers Diet again. I added that I probably
shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time,
but that I'd lost four stones before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and Intra veinous catheters in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a
perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your
trouser pockets with Spillers biscuits and simply eat one or
two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the
queue was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she
asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food
poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an
Irish Setter's @rse and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to
have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Tesco won't let me shop there anymore