Topic: Aphorisms

[Clive]

APHORISM: (A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH)

 1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humour, you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for the wrong number at 4 AM -- it could be the right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it..

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old men and old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Yaris.

19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!

[GillE]

17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old men and old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

If rap hasn't been forgotten by then.  If it's remembered, I'll be in my dotage and avoiding it will be comfortingly easy.

In forty years time all those tattoos will have degenerated to blue splodges and won't look like anything other than fresh bruises.  I've always thought tattoos are silly, ever since I had a summer holiday job working in a hamburger joint with a sixty year old bloke who had been tattooed extensively in his twenties.  He looked hideous.

[Simon]

19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!

Make that after 45. 

[Rik]

I hate tattoos too, Gill, with the exception of the Edinburgh Military one of course. What are people trying to say by having them done?