Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating ST Patrick"s Day
Mick the bartender says, Youll not be drinking any more tonigt Paddy".
Paddy replies ,"Ok Mick then Ill be on my way then".
Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off.He falls flat on his face.
"Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dust himself off.
He takes a step toward the door and falls flat on his face,"Shoite shoite"!
He looks towards the door and thinks to himself that if he can just get to
the door and get some fresh air hell be fine.
He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame.H sticks his
head outside and takes a deep breath of air,feels much better and takes a step outside and falls flat on his face.
"Bi Jesus.... Im focking focked" he says.he can see his house just a few doors down,and manages tocrawl to the door,hauls himself up the door frame ,opens the door and shimmies inside.No focking way!".He crawls up the stairs to the bedroom and says "I can make it to the bed", he takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face.He says "fock it",and falls into bed.
The next morning his wife Jess comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says "Get up Paddy ,you had a bit to drink last night!!!"
Paddy says,"I did Jess,I was focking p**sed.But how did you know???"
Mick phoned, and said you left your wheelchair at the pub!!!!!