I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move. (Very LG!!) J
A friend of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.
When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....
A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.
A spokesman for the channel said....'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour,
but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'
My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!!
B*ll*cks to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy.
I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs.
The birds love it!
The Prime Minister, David Cameron, has announced that he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits.
From next week, all the forms will be printed in English.
I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable.
I thought to myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown'.
On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said 'English speaking Doctor' -
I thought, 'What a good idea, why don't we have them in our country?'
Topic: One liners (Read 550 times)