Topic: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here

[Serenity]

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint.
He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is  OK.
She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to
prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said...

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS    

[Sandra]

Typical BLONDE that was posted last week  

Only  3 posts before you repeated it  
Maybe you could get someone to read the posts to you some day  

[Serenity]

You just HAVE to spoil my glory dont you Sandra!!  >  do I ever moan when Cammy nicks MY jokes and re posts them NOPE  

Hope yer hair turns pink now  :heehee:

[Rodders]

Did you know Serenity went all the way over to Dublin before she found out that a 14-inch Murphy was just a portable telly?  

[TR]

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me ... I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He held her hand and said, "Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, then ..........." he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

Have a great day!


 

[Clive]

Maxine, the platinum blonde, reported for her final examination which consisted of Yes / No answers.

She took her seat in the examination hall, stared at the question paper, and then in a bit of inspiration, took a quarter out of her purse. She started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet "Yes" for heads and "N" for
tails.

Within 30 minutes she was all done whereas the rest of the class was still sweating it out. During the last few minutes of the exam period, Maxine frantically started flipping the coin again.

The moderator, concerned about what she was doing, stopped by her desk and asked if she was ok.

"Oh yes, I'm fine. I finished the exam a half hour ago-- but," explaining the frantic coin tossing, "I'm going back through and checking my answers!"

[Simon]

[TR]

A man was in his front yard mowing grass,
when his
attractive blonde
female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house
and went
straight to the
mailbox.

She opened it, then slammed it shut & stormed
back into the
house.

A little later she came out of her house
again, went to the
mail box,
and
again opened it & slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into
the house
she
went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn,
she came out
again,
marched
to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it
closed harder
than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is
something
wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is!"

(Are you ready? ... this is a beauty .)

My stupid computer keeps saying,
"YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

[Camstop]

:funny:

[Camstop]

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant

[Clive]

I see that everyone is feeling lucky this morning!   :heehee:  There will be tears before bedtime.  

[Camstop]

It's all about confidence...Clive..!!

It's the only way to get those lucky nombers up...

[Adept]

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?

There's Tippex on the screen  

[Adept]

Helping an overweight blonde

An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.

The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: "How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"

[Lona]

A blind man enters a ladies bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,
"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
"Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know five things:
1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 220 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
 
 5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
 
 Now think about it seriously, Mister.
Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,
"Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."