Topic: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here

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*What's the first thing a blonde does when she wakes up?
Goes home.

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Q: What does a blonde call safe sex
A: Rolling up the windows and locking the doors

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Why do blondes smile during lighting storms?
ANSWER:

They think their picture is being taken!

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The phone rang late one night and the wife answered the phone in a tired hushed voice. Her husband listened as he heard his wife reply angrily "How the heck should I know? It's 300 miles away?" She hung up the phone and her husband asked, "Who was that?" and she said "Some lady asking me if the coast was clear!"

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How lovely you look, my dear!" gushed a wedding guest to the bride. And then she
whispered, "Whatever happened to that dizzy blonde your groom used to date?"
"I dyed my hair," replied the bride.

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Q: What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brunett?
A: Artaficial Intelligence

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Q. How do you drownd a blonde?
A. Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the botton of the pool!

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Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?

A: They are both empty neck up.

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A blonde came home from school one day and said to her mom, ''I can count higher than all the kids in my second grade class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?''
Her mother replied, ''Of course it is, dear.''
The next day, the blonde said, ''I can say the alphabet higher than anyone in my class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?''
Her mother replied, ''Of course it is dear!''
The next day the blonde came home from her gymnastics and asked her mother, ''I have a larger chest then all the kids in my class, do you think its because I am a blonde?''
Her mother replied, ''No dear, I think it is because you are eighteen years old."

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A man gave his blonde wife a cell phone for their 1st anniversary. He showed her how to use it and she absolutely loved it. One day when she was at the hairdresser, her phone rang. She turned it on and heard her husband's voice, "Hi Honey, how's the phone working out?" It's great, but how did you know where to reach me?"

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Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to
purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600
dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to
buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and
decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for$599,no
less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a
telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her,
then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left.
She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her
the word, 'comfortable.'" The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ?comfortable'?" The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. ?She?ll read it very slow.

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One day this blonde was walking down the street when she noticed her house was on fire. So she called 911 and said help there is a fire! then she hung up. After a few minutes she called back and said help my house is on fire! Then she hung up.... she finally called back, help my house is on fire! The dispatcher then asked, mam how do we get to your house? the blonde said "DUH the big red truck!"

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A man calls his wife on her cell phone and tells her to keep an eye on the road. She asks her husband why? and he replies: "there is some lunatic on the road driving in the wrong direction". She then replies " that?s funny I?m continuously dodging cars".

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Q.)Why did the blonde have lip prints on her windshield over her steering wheel?
A.)She was trying to blow her horn.

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Q. How do you get a blonde to laugh on a Monday morning?
A. Tell her the joke on Friday night!