on a lighter note..
i have some jokes..
1.
She was so blonde that
- she thought TuPac Shakur was a jewish holiday
- she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
- she thought a quarterback was a refund
- she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
- she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center
- she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats
- under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics"
- she tried to drown a fish
- she tripped over a cordless phone
- she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate"
- she put lipsick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind
- she got stabbed in a shoot-out
- she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK"
- she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back
- they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade
- she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
- at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here"... she put "Sagittarius"
- she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store
- it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes
- if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless
- she studied for a blood test - and failed
- she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train
- she sold the car for gas money
- when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends
- when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved
- she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill
- when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead
- when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.
2.
A blonde goes into a world-wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland.
When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, "I don't have any money but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!"
To that the man asks, "Anything?"
And the blonde says, "Yes, anything!"
With that, the man says "Follow me."
He walks into the next room and tells her to enter and shut the door. The blonde complies.
He then says "Get on your knees" and she does that as well.
He then says "Unzip my fly" and she does.
He then says "Go ahead and take it out."
With that, she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands.
The man then says, "Well, go ahead!"
She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips..
She says "HELLO, MOM?"
3.
In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth -- if you lie, you disappear.
One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror.
The brunette goes first.
"I think I'm the smartest woman on earth."
"POOF!" She disappears. The redhead goes up to try.p>"I think I'm the prettiest woman on earth."
"POOF!" She disappears.
The blonde goes up.
"I think--"
"POOF!
4.
A blonde wanted to win the lotto so she prayed to god, and she lost. Next week she prayed to god again, and she lost. The week after she prayed to god, and she lost. She said to god, why wont you let me win? God replied, How about buying a ticket first?
5.
A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition.
The brunette came in first, the redhead second.
The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted.
After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked; "I don't want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms."
lol hope you enjoyed those jokes
Jonah
