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Author Topic: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here  (Read 139074 times)

Offline Mac

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5000
« Reply #390 on: April 28, 2006, 21:06 »
Q. Did you hear the one about the - five thousand - Christian blondes?

A. No

Offline Mac

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For example.
« Reply #391 on: April 28, 2006, 21:07 »
:sheep: x 5000

 :brain:

Offline Camstop

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Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #392 on: May 15, 2006, 19:07 »
A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets
up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The flight attendant
watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the
blonde passenger that she paid for Economy and that she will have to go and sit
in the back.

The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne
and I'm staying right here!"

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and
co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in
Economy and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because
she only paid for Economy she is only entitled to an economy place and she
will have to leave and return to her original seat.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne
And I'm staying right here!"

Exasperated the co-pilot tells the pilot that it was no use and that he
probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this
blonde woman that won't listen to reason.

The pilot says, "You say she's blonde?, I'll handle this, I'm married to
a blonde, and I speak blonde!"

He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says "Oh, I'm
sorry, I had no idea," gets up and moves back to her seat in the economy
section.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said
to make her move without any fuss.

The Pilot replied "I told her First Class isn't going to Melbourne


 :laugh:

Offline mistybear

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Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #393 on: June 01, 2006, 12:29 »
Those who can make you believe absurdities,
can make you commit atrocities.

Offline mistybear

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She was so Blonde....
« Reply #394 on: June 24, 2006, 11:07 »
She Was So Blonde...
1. She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate".

2. She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

3. She got stabbed in a shoot-out.

4. She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK".

5. She thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

6. She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

7. She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

8. She tried to drown a fish.

9. She thought a quarterback was a refund.

10. She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

11. If you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back.

12. They had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.

13. Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."

14. She tripped over a cordless phone.

15. She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

16. At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here".. she put "Sagittarius."

17. She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

18. It takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

19. If she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.

20. She studied for a blood test ...and failed.

21. She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.

22. She thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.

23. She thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

24. She sold the car for gas money.

25. When she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted., she went home and got 16 friends.

26. When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

27. She thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.

28. When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

29. When she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.
Those who can make you believe absurdities,
can make you commit atrocities.

Offline Simon

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Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #395 on: June 24, 2006, 11:46 »
I thought Serenity had been busy for a while.  :grin:  :scoot:
Many thanks to all our members, who have made PC Pals such an outstanding success!   :thumb:

Offline mistybear

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Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #396 on: July 06, 2006, 15:13 »
Those who can make you believe absurdities,
can make you commit atrocities.

Online Clive

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Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #397 on: July 06, 2006, 15:42 »
Oh that's new!  Good find!!   :grin:

Offline mistybear

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Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #398 on: August 26, 2006, 04:48 »
A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"

The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need were in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those 'dumb blonde' jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" the husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."
Those who can make you believe absurdities,
can make you commit atrocities.

Offline Simon

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Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #399 on: August 26, 2006, 09:18 »
:eeek:
Many thanks to all our members, who have made PC Pals such an outstanding success!   :thumb:

Offline Camstop

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Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #400 on: August 27, 2006, 19:18 »
Yesterday I was having some work done at the car dealer. A blonde woman came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.

They all looked at each other, and one of the mechanics asked, "What
is a seven-hundred-ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost
it and need a new one.It had always been there."

The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over
to another car which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this
car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."

Click here to learn the identity of the mysterious 710:


http://mademelaugh.com/gfx/710.jpg

Offline Simon

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Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #401 on: August 27, 2006, 19:50 »
:pmsl:
Many thanks to all our members, who have made PC Pals such an outstanding success!   :thumb:

Offline mistybear

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Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #402 on: August 28, 2006, 08:18 »
Those who can make you believe absurdities,
can make you commit atrocities.

Offline mistybear

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Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #403 on: September 12, 2006, 13:40 »
A HIGHWAY PATROLMAN PULLED ALONGSIDE A SPEEDING CAR ON THE FREEWAY.

Glancing at the car, he was astonished to see that the blonde lady behind the wheel was knitting.

The trooper cranked down his window and yelled "pull over, driver".

"No" the blonde yelled back, "It's a scarf"
Those who can make you believe absurdities,
can make you commit atrocities.

Offline Debs.

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Legally Blonde...
« Reply #404 on: September 28, 2006, 15:11 »
One day a Lawyer who had been stranded on a deserted island for
over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship."

And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the
possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.

Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure.
Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood
a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!

The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Lawyer and said to
him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

"Ten years," replied the amazed Lawyer.

With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproofed pocket on the
left sleeve or her wetsuit, and pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes.

He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag. "I Say,"
said the man, "that is so good I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"

"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Irish
whiskey?" asked the blonde.

Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."

Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve unzips a
pocket there and removes a flask and hands it to him.

He opened the flask and took a long drink. "'Tis nectar of the gods!"
stated the Lawyer. "'Tis truly fantastic!!!"

At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long
front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked,

"And how long has it been since you played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the Lawyer fell to his knees and sobbed,
"I Say - `Goodness Gracious!.....Don't tell me that you've got a set golf clubs in there too!"


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