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Author Topic: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here  (Read 144606 times)

Offline mistybear

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #495 on: August 09, 2008, 14:04 »
 :aarrgh:  You've out done yourself Clive, it's truly awful.  ;)
Those who can make you believe absurdities,
can make you commit atrocities.

Offline Clive

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #496 on: August 09, 2008, 16:30 »
I will take that as a compliment.   :hee-hee:

Offline mistybear

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #497 on: August 23, 2008, 13:45 »
An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,


"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch"


Those who can make you believe absurdities,
can make you commit atrocities.

Offline Tony

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #498 on: August 23, 2008, 14:06 »
      :laugh:                   your on form today Misty
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Offline Simon

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #499 on: August 23, 2008, 14:34 »
 :thumbs:
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Offline Clive

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #500 on: August 23, 2008, 22:08 »
Sheer brilliance! 

Offline Clive

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #501 on: September 04, 2008, 13:36 »
Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A
blonde walks by and asks what they are doing.

Paddy: We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole, but we don't
have a ladder.

The blonde took a spanner from her purse, loosened a few bolts and laid
the flagpole down. She pulled a tape measure from her pocket, took a few
measurements and announced that it was eighteen feet and six inches.
She then walked off.

Mick: Ain't that just like a blonde! We need the height and she gives
us the length.


Offline Rik

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #502 on: September 04, 2008, 15:16 »
Boom boom! :)
Slainthe!

Rik

Offline mistybear

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #503 on: September 05, 2008, 07:09 »
 :lol:
Those who can make you believe absurdities,
can make you commit atrocities.

Offline Serenity

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #504 on: September 08, 2008, 14:46 »
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit.

She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly .

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied . You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'

To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'    ;D





Offline mistybear

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #505 on: September 08, 2008, 15:00 »
 :lol:
Those who can make you believe absurdities,
can make you commit atrocities.

Offline Clive

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #506 on: September 09, 2008, 15:49 »
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes,
charter a double-Decker bus for a weekend trip to Louisiana. The
Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on
the top level.

The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great
time, when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the
Blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate.

When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear,
staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them
with white knuckles. The brunette asked, 'What the heck's going on up
here? We're having a great time downstairs!'

One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered...



'YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!?!

Offline mistybear

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #507 on: September 09, 2008, 16:01 »
 :aarrgh:   
Those who can make you believe absurdities,
can make you commit atrocities.

Offline Rik

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #508 on: September 09, 2008, 16:03 »
I'd like to second your remarks, MB. :)
Slainthe!

Rik

Offline GillE

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #509 on: September 09, 2008, 18:07 »
 :laugh:
There is no opinion, however absurd, which men will not readily embrace as soon as they can be brought to the conviction that it is readily adopted.

(Schopenhauer, Die Kunst Recht zu Behalten)


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