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Author Topic: Groaner thread  (Read 190509 times)

Offline Rik

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #750 on: October 10, 2011, 06:49 »
:groan:
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Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #751 on: October 10, 2011, 11:46 »
:aarrgh:
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Offline Clive

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #752 on: October 20, 2011, 18:45 »
Noah's 2nd Ark
 
One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark".
 
Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being. Anything you want - after all you're the top guv' ...
 
But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch. This time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks, . . I want 20 decks one on top of the other".
 
"20 DECKS!", screams Noah. He stamps around for a bit then says, "Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"
 
"Yep, that's right, well . . sort of right . . this time I want you to fill it up with fish", God answers.
 
"Fish?", queries Noah
 
"Yep, fish . . well, to make it more specific Noah, I want carp - wall to wall, floor to ceiling -Carp!"
 
Noah looks to the skies. "OK God my old mucker, let me get this right, you want a New Ark?"
 
"Check".
 
"With 20 decks, one on top of the other?".
 
"Check".
 
"And you want it full of Carp?".
 
"Check".
 
"Why?" asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether...
 
"Dunno", says God, "I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark".

Offline Rik

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #753 on: October 20, 2011, 18:50 »
 :aarrgh: :rofl:

Must be a cruising joke. ;)
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Offline Clive

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #754 on: October 20, 2011, 19:52 »
I'd be forced to walk the gang plank!   :o

Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #755 on: October 20, 2011, 22:10 »
:aarrgh: :pmsl:
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Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #756 on: October 31, 2011, 22:56 »
When I was in France recently, the cheese factory I was visiting collapsed.

I was trapped in de Brie for hours.
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Offline GillE

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #757 on: November 01, 2011, 00:28 »
How awful.  Something similar happened to me once and I was trapped by the Roquefort ages.
There is no opinion, however absurd, which men will not readily embrace as soon as they can be brought to the conviction that it is readily adopted.

(Schopenhauer, Die Kunst Recht zu Behalten)

Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #758 on: November 01, 2011, 07:45 »
:groan:
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Offline Rik

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #759 on: November 01, 2011, 10:49 »
 :aarrgh: I was OK, I had company Gorg and Zola.  ;D
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Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #760 on: November 01, 2011, 11:04 »
For Gouda's sake!  :bawl:
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Offline Rik

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #761 on: November 01, 2011, 11:55 »
That remark is a little stiltoned.  :devil:
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Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #762 on: November 01, 2011, 12:40 »
At least it wasn't blue.  :)
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Offline Rik

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #763 on: November 01, 2011, 12:56 »
Give me a good Red Leicester any day.
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Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #764 on: November 05, 2011, 20:27 »
My mate who was a farmer had a hair brained scheme to breed genetically modified sheep that were twice the size of normal ones.

To do so he had to remortgage his house to finance it but things didn't go to plan, and although the sheep were larger they weren't as big as he'd hoped and he couldn't afford the repayments on his loan.

Suffice to say the bank reposessed his house and land, leaving him with just his sheep, nowhere to live and penniless.

The last time I saw him he was  standing on a street corner selling biggish ewes.
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