> 1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
>
> 2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
>
>
> 3. She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.
>
>
> 4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
>
>
> 5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
>
>
> 6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
>
>
> 7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
>
>
> 8. Two silk worms had a race, they ended up in a tie.
>
>
> 9. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it.
>
>
> 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
>
>
> 11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
>
>
> 12.Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
>
>
> 13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger, then it hit me
>
>
> 14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
>
>
> 15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
>
>
> 16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
>
>
> 17. A backward poet writes inverse.
>
>
> 18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
>
>
> 19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
>
>
> 20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
>
>
> 21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says,
>
> 'I'm sorry sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
>
>
> 22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'
>
>
> 23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
>
>
> 24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
>
>
> 25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
>
>
>
> 26. A geologist exploring an earthquake fell to his death through no fault of his own.
>
>
>
> 27. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
>
>
Topic: Good puns (Read 483 times)