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Author Topic: One-liners  (Read 36187 times)

Offline Clive

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #165 on: February 13, 2017, 11:40 »
 ;D

Offline Rodders

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #166 on: February 15, 2017, 01:34 »
Inquisitive Chinese students always prefer to enrol at the University of East Anglia.  It's their insatiable thirst for Norwich.

Offline Simon

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #167 on: February 15, 2017, 08:55 »
:groan:
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Offline Clive

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #168 on: February 15, 2017, 10:09 »
 ;D

Offline Clive

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #169 on: February 18, 2017, 15:00 »
Notice to Vegetarians:  How many cows would there be in the world if we didn't eat them?

Offline Simon

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #170 on: February 18, 2017, 18:10 »
:stars:
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Offline Clive

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #171 on: February 18, 2017, 21:28 »
I see you have a problem with this Simon.   This is a cow: :cow:  ;D

Offline Simon

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #172 on: February 18, 2017, 21:48 »
 :facepalm:
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Offline daveeb

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #173 on: February 18, 2017, 22:54 »
 :)x

Offline Rodders

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #174 on: April 26, 2018, 23:07 »
My granddad tried to warn everyone the Titanic would sink.  They still kicked him out of the cinema.   :icon_drowning:

Offline Simon

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #175 on: April 27, 2018, 00:11 »
 :)x
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Offline Clive

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #176 on: April 27, 2018, 09:33 »
 ;D

Offline Rodders

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #177 on: May 10, 2018, 22:44 »
I just got asked the time by an Argos delivery driver.  I told him it was between 8am and 1pm.

Offline GillE

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #178 on: May 11, 2018, 00:05 »
 :D

This is a sore subject right now.  I was supposed to have a piano delivered today between 8am and 6pm.  Getting anxious when it hadn't arrived by 4pm, I phoned the removals firm. They told me they wouldn't be able to get to the vendor until 6.45pm at the earliest.  I told them the vendors were going out at 6.30pm (they had a dress rehearsal)!  The piano is now going to be delivered tomorrow between 4pm and 5pm.  They promised faithfully - what choice did I have?  In the meantime, my family and the vendors have both had a wasted day (although I did edit some photographs I had promised somebody for tomorrow).
There is no opinion, however absurd, which men will not readily embrace as soon as they can be brought to the conviction that it is readily adopted.

(Schopenhauer, Die Kunst Recht zu Behalten)

Offline Simon

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #179 on: May 11, 2018, 00:12 »
Hope it's not being delivered by Laurel and Hardy!   ;D
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