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Author Topic: One-liners  (Read 36176 times)

Offline Rodders

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #60 on: July 22, 2015, 17:15 »
What's black and screams?  Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

Online Simon

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #61 on: July 22, 2015, 18:54 »
 :laugh:
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Offline Clive

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #62 on: July 22, 2015, 19:32 »
 :aarrgh:  ;D

Offline Rodders

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #63 on: July 24, 2015, 13:56 »
Anyone here called Phillip?  I think I've found your screwdriver.

Offline Clive

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #64 on: July 24, 2015, 14:02 »
 :)x

Online Simon

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #65 on: July 24, 2015, 14:36 »
 :bawl:
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Offline Den

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #66 on: July 24, 2015, 16:45 »
——I had amnesia once – or twice.
 Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
 All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
 I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
 If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
 What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
 They told me I was gullible .. and I believed them.
 Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he’ll never be able to edge his car onto a motorway.
 Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
 Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
 What if there were no hypothetical questions?
 One nice thing about egotists: They don’t talk about other people.
 When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
 A torch is a carrying case for dead batteries.
 What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
 I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
 The cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.
 How can there be self-help “groups”?
Is there another word for synonym?
 Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
 Is Marx’s tomb a communist plot
 If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
 Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off.
 It’s not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Fourth in the 2018 Quiz of the Year but at least I beat Clive.

Online Simon

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #67 on: July 24, 2015, 17:01 »
You could have got about 20 posts out of them, Den!   :)x
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Offline Clive

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #68 on: July 24, 2015, 18:32 »
:arf:

Offline Rodders

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #69 on: July 29, 2015, 14:40 »
Three words women hate to hear when having sex: "Honey I'm home!"

Offline Clive

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #70 on: July 29, 2015, 16:57 »
 :haha:

Online Simon

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #71 on: July 29, 2015, 17:07 »
 ;D
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Offline Rodders

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #72 on: July 31, 2015, 00:56 »
When I was a kid we were so poor we would go to the KFC and lick other people's fingers.

Online Simon

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #73 on: July 31, 2015, 09:14 »
 :ack: ;D
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Offline Clive

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #74 on: July 31, 2015, 09:37 »
Finger lickin' good!   ;D


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