Author Topic: One-liners (Read 36174 times)

Rodders · « **Reply #75 on:** August 06, 2015, 01:55 »

I thought having a vasectomy would prevent my wife getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the colour of the baby.

Clive · « **Reply #76 on:** August 06, 2015, 08:35 »

Simon · « **Reply #77 on:** August 06, 2015, 09:28 »

Rodders · « **Reply #78 on:** August 10, 2015, 00:21 »

The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

Clive · « **Reply #79 on:** August 10, 2015, 08:15 »

Simon · « **Reply #80 on:** August 10, 2015, 12:49 »

Rodders · « **Reply #81 on:** August 15, 2015, 22:16 »

I've taken up speed-reading and last night managed War And Peace in 28 seconds. I know it's only three words, but it's a start.

Simon · « **Reply #82 on:** August 15, 2015, 23:49 »

Clive · « **Reply #83 on:** August 16, 2015, 11:58 »

Rodders · « **Reply #84 on:** August 19, 2015, 17:49 »

I never wanted to believe that my son was stealing from his job as a road worker, but when I got home all the signs were there.

Simon · « **Reply #85 on:** August 19, 2015, 18:38 »

Clive · « **Reply #86 on:** August 19, 2015, 22:07 »

Rodders · « **Reply #87 on:** August 29, 2015, 19:04 »

I farted on the bus today and four people turned round. Felt like I was on The Voice.

Clive · « **Reply #88 on:** August 29, 2015, 19:13 »

Simon · « **Reply #89 on:** August 29, 2015, 20:06 »

The what?