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Author Topic: Groaner thread  (Read 190204 times)

Offline Rik

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #675 on: January 09, 2011, 18:12 »
 :aarrgh:
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Offline Clive

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #676 on: January 14, 2011, 14:32 »
A  man was found dead in his home over the weekend. Detectives at the scene found the man face down in his bathtub. The tub had been filled with milk, sugar and cornflakes. A banana was sticking out of his ass.
Police suspect a cereal killer.

Offline Rik

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #677 on: January 14, 2011, 15:55 »
:groan:
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Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #678 on: January 14, 2011, 16:19 »
:aarrgh:   :evilban:
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Offline Clive

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #679 on: January 14, 2011, 16:28 »
 :smirks:  I feel your pain. 

Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #680 on: January 15, 2011, 12:19 »
A man lay on his death bed the other day, with his wife Tina, and sister Marge by his side.

When he saw them getting upset he comforted them...













































"Don't cry for me, Marge and Tina..."

:)x
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Offline Rik

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #681 on: January 15, 2011, 12:20 »
 :aarrgh:
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Rik

Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #682 on: January 15, 2011, 12:38 »
:ithank:
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Offline Clive

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #683 on: January 15, 2011, 12:53 »
 :omg:

Offline Rik

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #684 on: January 15, 2011, 12:56 »
I bet you've got the tune running around your head though. ;)
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Offline Clive

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #685 on: January 15, 2011, 13:07 »
Makes a change for me to have anything running around my head Rik.   ;D

Offline Rik

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #686 on: January 15, 2011, 13:09 »
What, no hamsters?  ;D
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Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #687 on: January 15, 2011, 13:15 »
They fell asleep in the wheel.
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Offline Clive

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #688 on: January 20, 2011, 13:59 »
So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest kinda p**sed off because he doesn't want to be yellow.
 
Life would be easier if he were brown like the other toads... He'd sure be less visible to predators for one thing.
Anyway... This yellow toad bumps into a fairy godmother. "Fairy godmother, please make me brown like the other toads," he begs her. "I'm hacked off being so visible to predators. The stress is like, killing me, you know?"
"Okay" says the fairy godmother, who whips out her magic wand and goes:
"Abracapokus! You're brown!"
The toad looks down and sees that he is brown ! Except..... for his weenie, which is still yellow.
 
"Hang about lady," he says to the fairy godmother, "My pecker's still yellow!"
"Yeah, well I don't do weenies," she says, "You'll have to go see the Wizard of Oz for that." So the toad thanks her and hops off on his way.
There is also a purple bear wandering about the very same woods. As luck would have it, he encounters the very same fairy godmother (yes okay it's a coincidence, but it's true).
 
"Fairy Godmother! You're just the person I need!" says the purple bear, "I can't pull any bearesses cos they don't want to be seen with me on account of the hunters. They can spot me from a mile off."
Being a fairly nice fairy godmother, she takes out her magic wand. "Oh for goodness sake, what is the matter with you lot round here." she says. And with that, she yells: "Pokuscadabra! You're brown!"
The bear looks down and sees that he is, in fact, brown. Except for his goolies, which remain purple.
 
"Hold up sweetheart!", he says to the fairy godmother, "My goolies are still purple!"
"Yeah, well I don't do those goolie things," she replies, "You'll have to go see the Wizard of Oz for that."
"Well that's just dandy, innit?" the bear replies, "How the hell do I find the Wizard of Oz?"
"Easy," says the fairy godmother as she flew off...........
 
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you know what's coming don't you ?
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you'll be sorry you ever gave me your email address
after this....
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she flew off, saying.......
 
"Just follow the yellow-prick toad !!

Offline Rik

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #689 on: January 20, 2011, 15:03 »
 :aarrgh:
Slainthe!

Rik


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